i've been home for 20 days. but nobody's counting.

I have been home for approximately 20 days now, and even though I feel reflection will be an on-going process, I have certainly had plenty of time to think about my month abroad.  While my values have stayed more or less the same, my appreciation and awareness of certain aspects of life have increased.

I have grown to appreciate more aspects—especially certain mental and physical comforts—of life since my return to the United States.  I appreciate the seemingly simple things I used to take for granted like air conditioning, available internet, and flushing toilet paper.  I have focused more on the value my education and all the opportunities it has presented to me and all those to come.  Above all I value the feeling of being safe and the comfort and security of home. 

I know that I have changed since my trip to Mexico because I have become more aware and tolerant.  I have become more aware of my independence and ability to do things on my own.  I have a higher tolerance for the unknown.  Anybody who knows me understands that this is a big deal for me.  While I am not actively looking for more ambiguity in my life, I am better at handling not being in control and I have a better handle during difficult or stressful situations.  Problems can be solved more simply by identifying them and utilizing available resources instead of bothering with feeling worried. 

My self-confidence has increased not only in my ability to communicate despite barriers, but also overall.  I am a big believer in the fact that vulnerability is a necessary component to everyday life, and it just so happens that I find it easy opening up confidently to a bunch of strangers that I more than likely will never see again.  Now, I feel more inclined to take initiative and take risks. 

The new task at hand is figuring out how to integrate this “new me” back into my life at Meredith and at home.  As two different cultures and lifestyles conflict in my mind, I have already heard, “You’re a different person now,” and “You’re not in Mexico anymore, Ana.”  I wish I could explain to my friends and family how much good this trip has done for me; but I’m more than positive it’d be more effective to show rather than tell.  As much as I was ready to leave Mexico, I wasn’t done exploring; my adventure wasn’t over.  A completely agree with world traveler Jim Malarkey when he said, “It is difficult to live overseas and then come back to this country.  You carry within you a perpetual ache, a sense that we need to know more, to do more” (Paige et. al. 151).  My door to Mexico may have closed, but a lot of new windows in my personal journey have opened up.  I conquered study abroad—something I used to be so terribly against and afraid of.  Not to be cliché, but the possibilities are endless.

Paige, R. M., Andrew D. Cohen, Barbara Kappler, Julie C. Chi, and James P. Lassegard.

Maximizing Study Abroad: A Students' Guide to Strategies for Language and Culture

Learning and Use. 2nd ed. Minneapolis, MN: Center for Advanced Research on Language Acquisition, University of Minnesota, 2009. Print.