beer & botanas = liiiiiiife : )

here i sit.  a couple hours before i have to leave for the airport.  i'm not sure how i feel; or even if i feel at all because i'm pretty sure all of the conflicting feelings are canceling each other out leaving me indifferent and numb.

i am SO excited to fly home and see my family and friends.  i miss my house and all the comforts of home. 

it is sad to be leaving mexico.  in some ways i feel like i have just gotten used to things, yet in others i feel like i wasn't given sufficient time to conquer them.  being stubborn, that is rather frustrating. 

the trip didn't turn out how i expected; which isn't a bad thing.  it was still totally worth it.  i hope my spanish has improved & i sure as hell hope i pass the proficiency test in the fall. 

not even today has turned out as planned.  but after living a month on mexico time, i can honestly say that i was hardly bothered by anything that happened or didn't happen. the plan was, wake up, go to centro, go to progresso, stay up allllll night, and catch a ride with gaby to the airport at 4:30 am.  welllllllll...after going to bed at 7:00 am (awesome.) i woke up at 10:00 am (without an alarm--which for some unknown reason went off at 11:39 am).  i didn't go to centro.  i went to the mega instead.  i wanted to buy dona patricia flowers, but they didn't have any.  instead alex and i bought dos equis and heineken, got passed up by like 5 different busses, and finally got picked up by a huge charter-ish bus to progresso.  did i mention i chugged 2 huge things of water before leaving for the beach so that i wouldn't get dehydrated?  that didn't work out because we ended up getting off the bus early in progresso so that i could pee.  i successfully took my first outside pee inside some random, abandoned, labyrinth construction site (awesome).  it was cloudy all day at the beach, all of our ice melted and our beers stayed warm.  we tried a bajillion botanas (snacks) at eladio's for like the bajillionth visit there.  caught a bus back to merida in which a baby puked the entire way while the mom yelled at it.  remembered to get off at our stop this time around.  went to my house and packed my bags.  went to alex's house and fell asleep for 2.5 hours.  his host mom locked us in.  for real.  locked us in.  i climbed out over the gate with a chair, stack of newspapers, and a step stool.  let me reiterate this.  i was trapped inside homegirls house and she was well aware that i was in the house.  that is ridiculous.  but i got out.  ate some more tacos.  probably the last tacos for a bajillion years.  no biggie.  gaby is picking me up in less than 2 hours.  i should probably take another nap.

probably more organized thoughts later.  maybe thoughts that involve capital letters.